अन्तर्दाहप्रदायिन्या समूढरसमार्दवः । पङ्क आदित्यदीप्त्येव शोषं नीतोऽस्मि चिन्तया ॥ २ ॥
antardāhapradāyinyā samūḍharasamārdavaḥ | paṅka ādityadīptyēva śōṣaṁ nītō’smi cintayā || 2 ||
Translation
By care, which gives a burning within, I am dried up, my sap and softness taken away, like mud by the blaze of the sun.
Word by word
- antar
- (antaḥ) within
- dāha
- a burning
- pradāyinyā
- which gives
- samūḍha
- taken away
- rasa
- my sap
- mārdavaḥ
- and softness
- paṅka
- (paṅkaḥ) mud
- āditya
- of the sun
- dīptyā
- by the blaze
- iva
- like
- śōṣaṁ
- dried up
- nītō
- (nītaḥ) brought to
- asmi
- I am
- cintayā
- by care
Meaning
Wet mud is soft and full of moisture; under the summer sun it dries, cracks and hardens. Cintā, care or anxious brooding, is craving's first child, and it works the same way: it gives "a burning within" (antardāha), and takes away rasa, the sap of feeling and enjoyment, and mārdava, softness, gentleness. The Dwivedi text reads the two as affection and compassion. Worry does not only make one unhappy; it makes one hard. The reader may test it: in their most anxious seasons, were they kinder or harsher to those near them?